“America has the best politicians money can buy.”
“This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.”
“Republicans want to destroy government and Democrats can’t make government work”
“We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
“Crime does not pay … as well as politics.”
“Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies”
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”
“Cowardice and courage are both contagious”
“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it”
“Under every stone lurks a politician.”
“An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.”
“What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.”
“Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.”
“Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice Doggie” until you can find a rock.”
“The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.”
“All of the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of Native Americans.”
“How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’ll only promise change.”
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”
“Political speeches are like a steer. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.”
“One of the penalties of not participating in politics is that you will be governed by your inferiors.”
Congress is so strange… a man gets up to speak and says nothing… nobody listens…and then everybody disagrees. Then they vote on it.”
“Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.”
“From the second law of thermodynamics, we know that entropy (i.e. disorder) of an isolated system always increases over time. Indeed, Congress proves that every day.”
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
“The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best.”
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.”
“State legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prohibits them from running for higher office.”
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.”
“Man is by nature a political animal.”